davidmacomber[dot]com

Acroblast 09, originally uploaded by davidmac527.

The return of my fotoblog.

Taken at this year’s Acroblast in Cape May.

beach01.jpg, originally uploaded by davidmac527.

not many things could make me happier then this…

Crap I think I accidently marked a bunch of comments spam. So, if you comment and it doesn’t show up email me. david(at)davidmacomber.com so I can approve you. Sorry.

david

It has been exactly one year since Melissa and I have become foster parents. This time last summer, 7 year old AJ. was lugging his heavy duffel bag out of the State of New Jersey’s white mini van across our lawn and up to the front door. Looking out, I thought - what have we gotten ourselves into? Grinning ear to ear,  AJ was doing his best to get us to like him. Smiling back we were doing our best to not let him know we were scared as hell and had no idea what we were doing. AJ’s foster family was going on vacation with their 5 other foster kids and left him behind because he was “too hyper” to take along. For 8 years Melissa and I lived alone, longer then AJ’s been alive. I wasn’t quite sure if we were ready for this chubby 7 year old or his tendencies to be “too hyper”

The 2 weeks went fast and without incident (well, except for the time he puked in my tent, but that’s another story for another day) Shortly after he left, Sarah was dropped on our front lawn. Literally. I came home and her and her worker were coloring on the grass in front of our house. Now, we knew they were coming. But we were not given a specific time. The worker had flown down earlier that day to Florida to pick up little  Sarah from her mother who had fled from the state after she was arrested for drunk driving while her daughter was in the back seat. On the flight back from Florida, the worker’s phone went dead and she had no way of reaching us. So, she came right to the house. As I slowly pulled up the house and stepped out my truck, this beautiful little girl with pig tails bouncing out of the top of her head excitedly ran up as to give me a hug but then stopped right in front of me, looked up and smiled.

I fell in love. Instantly.

Sarah didn’t talk much and she smiled even less. The time of neglect left her a beautiful yet sad little girl who struggled to communicate with those around her. She would mumble gibberish words and became frustrated easily. When she cried, she would open her mouth wide, exposing her gums. We had never seen anyone cry like that before, it was actually kind of cute. The first few days of figuring out what Sarah liked to eat was difficult, although cake was like baby crack to her. She couldn’t get enough of it. It wasn’t hard to figure out when she didn’t want something. Pointing her finger and yelling “NO!” was a good indication. Something I am sure was normal in her rocky childhood so far.

When I finish life, I’d liked to say that I’ve learnt something from every situation God placed me in. With Sarah, I understood a little bit more about God’s love for His children here on earth. I had never cared for a child quite like this before. No matter what, I loved her unconditionally. Sarah wasn’t my daughter, by birth, but I would do anything for her. Holding her when she was scared and crying out, I imagined myself scared and crying out with God holding me tight. Softly rocking, telling me “We are going to get through this. You’re going to be ok.”

As quickly as Sarah came, she was gone. After only a month, an aunt stepped forward wanting to help. According to the law, family gets priority in the placement of the child. Even though she was already settled and progressing with us, we had to let her go. We got a call on a Thursday they were coming on Friday. We needed to have Sarah’s stuff packed. That night we reluctantly went through her room. Packing up her tiny clothes, her bears and her adult tooth brush she got from the Church of Latter Day Saints in Florida, she was coloring quietly by herself.  My little girl, with pig tails who loved to wear pink and watch the same Care-Bears movie over and over and over again, was already leaving. I have experienced sadness before, but this was a new way for my heart to break. In only month she had progressed to much. Her gibberish words were now interrupted with understandable syllables. Her screaming “NO’s” were replaced with screaming “NO Thank you’s” On tip toes, she would bounce through the house following her Fisha (Melissa). Standing by the front door she would proudly point out to me the doo-doo truck (the ice cream truck played a song that sounded like do-do-do dah do dah do). She was beginning to come around and daily we would see her protective shell breaking down more and more. Friday soon came and the worker loaded her bears and car seat into the van, Sarah again ran up to me, like she did the first day we met, instead this time she was smiling and threw her little arms around me and said “Up in da shky”
Knowing this is probably the last time I will see my beautiful Sarah girl, tears begin to well. I smile, scoop her up into my arms and excitedly say “Of course.” Tossing her into the air, she is giggling and yelling with gladness. I wished it was like the movies and this scene was in slow motion. I replay that 20 seconds of my life over again often in my mind. The worker is standing by the van and motions it’s time to go. Sarah doesn’t understand why my eyes are red and filling with water as I hold her tight. Kissing me asks “Visit?”

“Yes, Beautiful. You’re going for a visit.” I tell her. Together Melissa and I buckle her safely in her car seat. This will be our last bit of help to Sarah’s life. We shut the door and she begins to wave.

It was like God was holding me right then as Sarah waved excitedly from the back seat of the van. I was crying and confused but Sarah was strong. She had to be. Her 3 years of life thus far has demanded it. Sarah never stopped waving till she was out of view as her van turned down off our street. My wife, sister and I stood sobbing in our front yard. This was the first time we had fallen in love with a foster child. We figured this time had to be the hardest and we convinced ourselves it would become easier each time.

********

That was almost 9 months ago. Since Sarah left we have had 2 other little boys come to live with us. Bobby who was 18 months old when he came and Seth who was brought to our house straight from the hospital. As I entered the bathroom last night to take a quick shower, I see Bobby’s white and black striped swim shorts hanging on the towel rack. My eyes well up as I think about my time with him. Yesterday we went to the beach and I never knew I could feel such happiness as when I watched Bobby run back and forth chasing seagulls and jumping the waves. This year will be my first “Father’s Day.” These kids I take care of are not my own, but I love them no less. I would live and die for these little boys just as my own father would do for me. When I saw those miniature shorts hanging there to dry, I thought again about Sarah and when she pulled away down the street and out of our lives forever. When we were told Bobby was going back to live with his parents in the next week or so - my heart began to crack all over again. Even though, we convinced our selves when Sarah left it would eventually easier - it hadn’t. I thought about the day he came to stay with us. One thing all our foster kids have in common - are those smiles. The adults who are supposed to be taking care of them have failed them and although their lives are spinning out of control around them, these kids have a glow. Bobby was no different. When I walked in from work that first day he was sitting at the table eating. When he saw me he turned his head and shot me a smile so big his eyes went squinty. There had been few moments in our house without that smile.

Bobby has been my boy for 8 months now. Just ask him. “Who’s David’s boy?” He will proudly point to his chest. But my boy is getting ready to leave me. I don’t know what his future will hold. Even if he lived with me I couldn’t protect him forever but like any parent I just want to know he will be OK. I want him to be safe and grow up with every opportunity to excel. This mission, of foster parenting,  God has placed us on is harder then I could even imagine. The meetings, the red tape, the confused, hyper, angry, aggressive kids, the parents (who you want to choke sometimes), the case workers (who you want to choke sometimes), the judges (who you want to…well, you get the point) all these headaches and difficulties pale in comparison to knowing that Bobby (and someday maybe Seth) will be driving away from our house, smiling and waving. Unaware they are driving away from our lives forever.

All the love we poured out. All the patience spent. All the words learned and time outs given. All the boo-boos kissed and good night songs sung. All the crumbs cleaned and boogies wiped. All the shoes outgrown and diapers changed. All the tents made and birds chased. All the sleepless nights and joy filled days. All this will be forgotten by Bobby and Sarah and any other little ones who live under these walls and are held in these arms. It’s hard to think that despite the fact Melissa and I will never forget these kids, they are too young to have any memories of us.

These tiny swim shorts and the thoughts they have produced, challenge me to be the best father I can be to these precious children during the short time we have them. Because I know that that heart break I am experiencing will fade with time but the impact I are making will last a lifetime.

Tozay Penn and I, originally uploaded by davidmac527.

I seriously told Penn “you are a huge man” I really couldn’t think of anything else.

me and teller, originally uploaded by davidmac527.

Teller’s my favorite…

These kids got suspended at my old high school for playing “another brick in the wall.” Pretty funny, I think.

Read the whole article here..

I am working on a new website (should be done in a few days) I wanted to write an about me section on the site and I wasn’t quite sure how to write this so I asked some of my facebook & twitter friends
to ask me some questions and these are my answers-

Would you rather rid the world of AIDS or Have free cake for ever? -HOOFPUNCH

Well, HOOFPUNCH you know - I DO LOVE cake, but AIDS is probably more of a priority. Plus if I ate cake everyday, I would break out like a teenage boy.

Was California worth it? -outofthesilent

I lived in California for 5 years after gradutating High School and it was one of the better decisions of my life. I met my wife and many forever friends. California made me a stronger person. Living on my own, away from my family, in a city, forced me to grow up and figure many things out for myself. (Mainly laundry) Although we decided it wasn’t the place we wanted to live forever, South California has so much culture, art, surfing and year round outdoor living that I often miss. (Usually in February when it is like 3°F outside).

What is your favorite food? What is your favorite movie? Favorite book? Where did you go to college? For how long? and what major? Why that one? How’s that? LOL - Debbi Fricker

Wow! That’s alot of questions, but good ones none the less. I’ll answer them in order.

-It’s a tie between my wife’s taco dinner, Louie’s Cheese Pizza and Phillies Dollar Dog Night (because you can’t beat the value).

-Backdraft, Eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind, Little Miss Sunshine, Almost Famous, Perfect Storm, Billy Madison, Boondock Saints, Into the Wild… off the top of my head

-Into the Wild, Dove, Irresistable Revolution, Three Little Words, A Walk Across America, Velvit Elvis, My favorite books in the Bible are
James, Phillipians & Exodus

-Brooks College of Design

-2 years (but am still 3 credits short of my Associates Degree)

-Graphic Design

-I’ve always liked being creative and thought it was a good way to make money, while still doing art.

-That’s Great. Thanks

What made
you and your wife decide to be foster parents? Who, if anyone, has had the greatest influence on you and the way you live your life? And how? - Stephanie Fernando

-My wife and I have been to a couple of different countries and have seen extreme poverty and many homeless children. We thought with all those kids in need, why bring a new child into the world when we could help a child who didn’t have a good home already? After researching the problems, we found that there are plenty of opportunities available for foster and adoptive parents here in America.

-Steve Birkenshaw, Rob Bell and Shane Claiborne. Steve was my first youth pastor and was extremely influential to the young man I grew into before leaving for college. I found Rob Bell’s sermons online two years ago and haven’t missed a week since. The way he communicates the gospel has been helpful in my spiritual growth. The simplicity of life Shane Claiborne has chosen to live has been a living example of Jesus to me.*There have been many influential people in my life those three where just the first few that came to mind. I try to constantly be learning from everyone around me.

If you were on death row what would your last meal on earth be and be specific! -BeyondD

I think it would be good to note that being wrongly accused of a crime and having to go jail is one of my biggest fears. But if I do
find myself on death row and given the choice of my last meal…. Hmm… I would like something special like flounder francese with garlic mashed potatoes and cheesy bread from the Lobster House in Cape May. The flounder francese does something special to my tummy which would be a lot of fun for those who have to clean me up after I pass.(Hey you said be specific)

Oh and what are your hobbies - Stephanie Fernado (again)

I like photography, being a volunteer firefighter, magic and I like surfing even though I really stink at it.

Why isn’t Pluto a planet anymore? -Ed Belote
I don’t know. You should ask DR. FRED Did you forget that I went to school for art and even then, I didn’t graduate?

Why is Ed Belote still in your list of friends? - Roger Tozer
Well Roger, beggers can’t be choosers.